19 weeks pregnant today! Next week we'll be half way and we'll find out if it's a boy or a girl. I've been feeling little kicks and twitches, it's amazing. When I imagine what it will be like to meet this little creature growing in there, I pretty much burst into tears. So far enjoying every minute of the process - even when I'm annoyed that I have to go pee again, I think "it's because I'm pregnant," and it makes me smile.
We have conversations about the kind of parents we want to be. We want to apologize to our kids for the ways we'll fail them. My own healing of childhood wounds has been greatly helped by my parents' participation. It's wonderfully freeing to have them understand and acknowledge ways that their brokenness affected me. And our brokenness will affect our kids. I'm terrified to find out how, but comforted knowing the Redeemer can make beauty out of it all.
Nic is still job hunting and purpose hunting. A deep desire of his is to find a niche. We pray for direction and for courage and for faith in God's sovereign goodness. Stu Weber's message at Good Shepherd this weekend hit right at home! Thanks, Stu! For now the plan is to find any job that can provide for our basic needs for the immediate future, and to make a decision about a direction for school. He's arranging some informational interviews with people who work in fields that match his personality and strengths to get some perspective. Thankfully, unemployment is providing a time cushion for this process. I'm eager to see how it'll all unfold - and we're prayerful and hopeful that we will continue to find ways to say thanks for many things in the midst of this (particularly on difficult days), and that we'll especially say thanks down the road when we look back and see the rich blessings of fruit that are now being produced (not without painful pruning). I'm fully convinced that all pains in life, whether great or small, can be pathways through and to the sweetest joys.
Cheers to life's ups and downs and God's hand over them all!
