Setting Up The Pins (Written April 13th, 2011, 6:30 a.m.)

It's 6 a.m.-ish here and I just got Toby back to sleep after nursing. Our most recent challenge is that he falls asleep like it's his life's calling while he's on my chest, but when I transition him to the bassinet, or try and lay him in there awake and let him settle down, sometimes he might stay awake (and keep me awake) for an hour or so grunting and squirming and fussing. He did this for an hour after our 1:00 a.m. feeding until I, in tears, reluctantly gave in and put him back on my chest and we slept soundly for a couple of hours. Alas, now he is quiet in the bassinet. 

It's amazing how consuming this "job" is... A very limited number of decisions and actions being repeated over and over around the clock in cycles of 2-4 hours. It makes the day go by really fast actually, but the nights can seem long. 

I'm reminded of Sara Groves song "Setting Up The Pins" from her latest album. "Sing for the beauty that's to be found settin' up the pins for knockin' 'em down..." (there's a great music video for this song too) There is something beautiful about it... It's real life, all around the world, people are repeating, revolving, cycling through, breath by breath, 2-4 hour feeding patterns, daily, weekly, monthly patterns, seasons, years, life cycles. May I cherish this season with my son - he is the only child of mine who will ever be my ONLY child if the Lord continues to grow our family. He is my tiny companion, who is so precious even though he poops and pukes a thousand times a day - I will consider it joy to navigate the challenges of sleeping, eating, playing and... more sleep please! Because I get to be with him, and he is learning to trust me to meet his needs, diaper by diaper, meal by meal. And I pray we will be able to teach him to trust in His Heavenly Dad just the same, day by day, season by season.